Sunday, July 26, 2009

My Random Resume' No wonder I'm confused

Over the years I've had a ton of different jobs.  I decided to write them down, not sure why, I just did.  Maybe we have some similar experiences. 
Candy Striper - I used to wheel people to and from their rooms in the hospital I was in 8th grade and quit because I was embarrassed that my 8th grade boyfriend might catch me wearing a pink and white striped pinafore dress.  My friend who worked with me got "fired" from her volunteer job for dropping someone's placenta sample in the elevator on her way to the lab.   
Babysitting:  Actually made quite a lot of money doing babysitting jobs.  Watch out for those outtie belly buttons though they can easily get stuck in a Pajama Zipper.  Hey... it only happened once and the kid was just fine. 
Elmers Pancake and Pie House age 16-  This job only lasted 2 weekends thanks to the horrible outfit I had to wear.  I was a "hostess" and they issued me the ugliest forest green skirt that I'm sure was made out of the the same material as fancy napkins.  A salmon colored stripe shirt and a forest green bow to wear around my neck that matched the hideous skirt.  Not to mention the shirt smelled like over-washed and over dried B.O from the previous disgruntled hostess.   
Stark Street Pizza Co.  age 16-17  Quite possible my most memorable and fun job.  I loved cutting pizzas really fast and was always happy for the people getting their scrumptious Stark Street Pizza because it was so so good.   Also thought it was fun to go into the giant freezer.
Lerner NY age 18- Really only worked here to get the 20% discount so never saw any take home money but left with some great sweaters and stirrup pants.   
Copeland Sports age 19- worked in clothing and then quickly moved to the shoe department so I could talk to more cute guy employees that worked in shoes, so shallow minded at that age.
Fudruckers- Age 20 - most likely the biggest mistake for a summer job when I accepted a position in the Fudruckers Bakery.  I was supposed to be getting in shape for College Volleyball and instead enjoyed a few too many cookies that summer.  Turns out you can't eat that many cookies and maintain a good jump reach.  I got really good at taking stats that year from the bench.  I then picketed outside of Fudruckers yelling, "Fudruckers ruined my life!" 
Filled out an application to be a Flight Attendant-Age 22 Flew to LA, had issues on the plane with shallow breathing patterns, came home and destroyed the application.  
Camp Nurse: Age 22 So I really wanted to be a counselor but those spots were filled so I signed up for camp assistant nurse, only the head nurse had to be "relieved of her duties" suddenly so I was now head nurse.   It was so wonderfully AWESOME when 1/2 the Jr. camp came down with the stomach flu on hot dog day.  Sadly I ate dry captain crunch all summer as my coping mechanism.. with the crunch berries.  
Teller: I worked as a bank teller off and on for a while, mainly checking cute men's accounts to see if they were doing well.  I know... pretty lame, but that is where my radar was at the time. Turns out I did get asked out by my future husband at this job not because I was scoping his account, just happened. 
Hullahans Hostess- I tried the hostess gig again and the nice thing is they didn't issue me a polyester uniform this time and I got to wear my own clothes.   This is where I learned that what I thought was me smiling and welcoming, my manager said "really looked lame".  I went to the mirror and checked on the smile and to her credit she was right.  Now I know what a spacey looking smile feels like and I try to avoid it.  
School Receptionist/Coach:  Great years of my life with great people but quit after our first baby was born.  I came home to my husband pacing the floor with a crying baby and him looking hopeless.  He said "SHE HAS BEEN DOING THIS FOR 5 HOURS!!!"  That was my last season.  
Mom:  This is the busiest “job” I have ever had and the most demanding but also pretty rewarding.  I don't think I would necessarily place being a mom in the category of a "job" because a job is usually something people don't always like or only do 40 hours a week and usually can't wait to find a new job or retire. Sometimes I wish I could have more breaks but then when I'm on a break I miss the little peeps.  I never thought they'd grow so fast and the crazy toddler years would be gone, but then again I never thought eating loads of cookie dough in the summer of '91 would send me down a path that led right to the volleyball bench.   It's hard not to take time and moments for granted and think "oh we’ll do that tomorrow, we have so much time" and then suddenly they are pre-teens wondering why they are sitting in the front row of a Wiggles concert while their mom is clapping and snapping pictures.
And Finally...
Here are the 10 jobs I wish I could do in no particular order and obviously some
 don’t have anything to do with how much they pay just think they would be fun.
  1.  Nurse (w/o the blood and guts, I dry heave at my own child’s vomit)
  2.  Actress/ Performer
  3.  Airport Ticket Counter Person 
  4.  Restaurant/Coffee shop owner like this one.. sideboard cafe
  5.  An owner of a  Bed and Breakfast  (but I’d be afraid of scary guests)
  6.  Ride around in a really cute Ice Cream Truck selling Ice Cream Treats.
  7.  Referee of a Women’s College or Pro Volleyball
  8.  Store owner of a specialty shop such as old fashion candy or a Wedding Shop.
  9.  Inventor of something that actually sells. 
  10.  A personal Assistant (oh I think that is what they call a mom).

1 comment:

  1. "I dry heave at my own child's vomit!"--Perhaps this is a bit more "job description" than we need to know! And what category would this fall into on your resume exactly: SKILLS or ACHIEVEMENTS? And what is your highest regurgitation level: "SPLIT PEA" or "CHUNKY-MONKEY?" :D

    I think you deserve a BIG raise SUPERMOM! :)