Thursday, July 29, 2010

Alpine Slide -I'm Totally Wearing A Dress Next Time!

Making my way through the line at the Alpine slide at Mt. Hood Oregon, I couldn't help but  notice the two young women about 10 people ahead of me, wearing long dresses, cuddling with their boyfriends, who by the way got to wear whatever behooved them for the day and of course comfortable to slide in.  I'm sure you have seen these homemade outfits before in a certain community that holds great honor and pride in wearing homemade long dresses in public and a doily pinned to their head.  I actually really felt bad for these girls that they couldn't just be free and wear what they wanted or what was best fitting for a zooming ride down the alpine slide.  Anyway, a fleeting thought of concern, and then they were gone up the chair lift to take their turn, but I still wondered if it will even be fun for them, considering how they are dressed.  
About 10 minutes later I'm on the chair lift looking down at the slide below watching people with various techniques and speeds going down the slide. When not sweating about the fact we were riding on a chairlift built in 1958 dangling from a cable over sticker bushes, I was again watching people and giggling at the slide goers that were frustrated they weren't' going very fast, evidently not realizing they were holding down the brake.  I also took careful mental notes to be sure to adjust my shirt before sliding so that I wouldn't be the victim of unfortunate angles down my shirt from onlookers above, not that I was looking down people's shirts, just taking note.  
This note taking was abruptly interrupted by what I saw blazing down the slide at about 80 mph.  It was the girl in the long dress and doily!!! She was making smoke down that slide, doily in tact, and packing heat!   Thirty seconds later her friend, also wearing a dress and doily, clocking a similar time, came "screaming" down the slide with the determination of an Olympic luge champion and the look on her face saying "who said I'm living in religious bondage, I'm free.. even if I did have to make this dress and doily and never can wear my cute jeans with my boyfriend around, I'll just let him do inappropriate things through the dress (true story near the snack shack) and no one will notice or care, not even God because He knows I'm just "sowing my wild oats" and I'll pick Him back up off the shelf I am world!!!!"  Ok, I don't know if she was really thinking that, but I sure was thinking "darn I wish I would have worn a dress and doily if it makes me go THAT fast down the slide".   I wore long pants and and a blousy shirt, that sadly made me go slow (partly because I had to drive with one hand using my other hand to conceal possible bad angles like my notes reminded me)  Oddly enough, the girls were much faster than their boyfriends who were wearing long jean shorts, white knee high sweat socks and "gangsta" shirts.  Probably more symbolism there, but I cant' think of how to tie that in.  However, I sure learned a lesson and next time the handmade dress is coming out! I might even pull out a doily from the antique sideboard in the dining room for the added touch.
 "Long Live the Doily!!!"
On a side note, The Mt. Hood Adventure Park is super expensive for what you get, and my son said  "I made a terrible choice for my birthday".. sad :(  Sorry Mt. Hood better adjust your prices to fit the needs of your peeps. I mean really.. it's not all about you. 


  1. The Alpine Slides were fun. I remember going there when I was maybe about 10? But instead of being concerned about onlookers above, wouldn't you be worried about onlookers below if you wore a dress?!

  2. Hey, sounds like RUMSPRINGA! So put on that dress & doily and go "gangsta" 'cause it's okay! Just party like it's 1999 and slide, baby, slide! :D

  3. Ok so, I was there too, and saw the inappropriate public behavior with the boyfriend and the dress. It was strange how very unflattering totally covered up dressing still didn't keep the boy away. I am all for modest dressing, but it wasn't working there.

    If you go to alpine slide don't get sucked into the "super cool really fun things to do upper portion tickets" that you have to drive to, and stop your kids from going down the slide that they are having lots of fun on because there is something just as fun further on and we only have 2hr passes thing. Stick to the slide and go home. :)