Saturday, November 21, 2015

OH Facebook Why I Hate You and Love You Part 3



Love:  Here's why I love Facebook.. 

Love in this category should result in a snarky comment of 
"Well why don't you Marry it"

In my previous posts Part 1 & 2 which you can read if you click Here  I talked about about the reason I hate Facebook. Hate is kind of a heavy word, I don't really hate it.. I hate evil, Facebook is not Evil.   Maybe annoyed with some things is a better word but I thought to bring it back full swing I'd post why I do really love Facebook.


I love seeing people enjoying life!
I LOVE the connections that are made that would have never been made in the natural world.

I Love the friends from LONG AGO that have popped up to say Hi.

I love the people that I didn't know before very well only to find common ground now

I love seeing who knows who and making connections

I love that in times of desperate need...
we can ask what we can do to help.

I LOVE the transparency of friends and asking for help

I love that we can pray for each other and encourage one another

I love that we can quickly find someone and send a quick message
I LOVE that we can watch your children grow up and not just a once a 
year Christmas Card if 
we are even lucky enough to be on the list.

I love that we get an opportunity to share other's pain and joys and respond as friends do.. 

I love that it can change lives and alter courses!!

These are all good things that without Social Media may not have happened.    That's why I love Facebook.    Facebook allowed me to step into someone's life and be part of a miracle, I have loved seeing faces of Childhood Friends, High School Friends, College Friends, teachers, pastors, neighbors ect.   I love being connected with a wonderful community of people that I know many of them in time of need would be at my doorstep... it's happened.   Thank you Facebook for getting us out of our shells and while we are in this generation of computers and devices  we are connected to each other.  Now go take someone to lunch and see them face to face :)  

Friday, November 20, 2015

Oh Facebook Why I Hate You Why I Love You Part 2

Disclaimer: I write satire most of the time.. I have learned these many lessons myself.. I'm not pointing my finger at any one person just relating what I feel and hear from others in general.  If this strikes a cord with you personally than it might be something you need to deal with in your own heart.  It's just observations people... just observations.. just go with it and then take a walk. 

Part 2 of a 3 part series. 

AVOIDING FACE BOOK SOCIAL MELT DOWNS 

Me On Vacation 2014 
I've heard and seen the good bad and the ugly.   I totally get that it hurts to see the group of friends you thought were your friends all together smiling in Hawaii together with their skinny bodies (that you've seen transformed week by week on your feed) holding up their drinks when you struggle with alcohol and all sporting their "Jamberry nails"  I get it!   Yes it's hard to see all the pictures on Father's day if you don't have a Dad, Mother's day if your mom has passed,  Sisters Rock day when you didn't get to have a sister, anniversary's, new ultrasounds,  new cars, houses, pets, plastic surgery, yet another championship from the sporty family (as your kid is sitting on the couch yelling at some video game or and eating lard).   You see the tension.. it causes people to hate Facebook because it points out what is lacking in our lives if just for a moment, a feeling of I am less than.

STOP IT!!! 
You are not less than!! You have a different story and one that can't be compared to others.   I know it's hard to stay connected online when you see things that you wish had transpired in your life differently, or that you didn't get, it's a constant reminder.  I have those things in my life.

When I step back from the painful in  my face "this is not your life" , I realize that my jealousy of someone else's good thing is an issue that is in my heart!! It would be the same if I was jealous of someone's fancy house I drive by.. it's not their issue it's mine!!   If we can't rejoice in other people's good things in life then we are only feeding the monster inside of us that is discontent or of past un-dealt with feelings.  When I see that group of friends that a singe of jealousy comes up inside of "wow that would be nice", or a group that I used to be a part of but for some reason the invites stopped,   I began to ask the hard questions.   What in my life is lacking or a hurt that I am not moving on from.

For those who seem to have that "Perfect Life" (whatever that is)  be happy for them, they don't know they are over posting!!   You know that it's not all rosy all the time, they are human too and maybe their fun will inspire you to go do something different or fun or think outside the box.

I know that there are just plain hard things to see so here are a few tips I think would help the Facebook community of posters, stalkers, pokers, likers and on the fence haters.

FACEBOOK TIPS FOR LESS SOCIAL MELT DOWNS

1.  Think about others but don't let it cripple you from posting at all.    People love seeing your pictures but keep in mind if you post your raging party and leave a close friends (or what they thought was a close friendship) out, they are going to see it and be hurt.  Just have your stupid party and enjoy your friends and don't post it.  Nobody really cares.. except the people you just dumped.   (by the way you know there is a filter for "share with only these people")  If you want to share your pics with that group then you can do that without the world needing to see it.  Sorry if that sounds harsh but think about it.

2.  There are days that maybe staying off Facebook is better for our hearts.  Just don't go there where Holidays produce picture after picture of something you miss.   I've been there it can hurt and it's time to focus on other stuff and be thankful for other things in your life.

3.  Vacations, I love to see where you go!! If you go on 4 or more vacations a year,  please explain on the 5th vacation how you do it.  I mean I  think that might help... For instance:   Hey I received an inheritance! or Hey we Charged another tropical vacation!  Hey we are heading to the China because we love fortune cookies and we've been to every other country and never work!   "Hey we get up every day and work our tails off so we are vacationing again!!... Get a job or two or three so you can too!   Really we onlookers just need one and that's our deal, but some explanation would be helpful so we can get there.

4.  You don't have to be friends with everyone!! If they stir up turmoil in your heart block them.  If their posts are annoying unfollow.   There is a little arrow on the right side of each post in the feed that you can choose your own destination with that persons post and future posts.. just saying.  I know I have probably been blocked or unfriended.. it happens move on.

5.  Don't be my friend ONLY to solicit your online party or business.   This is a no brainer people..   I will speak no further.

6. Don't over post about one thing.  It's great and important you are doing blah blah blah.. and I know it's important to let people know you did blah blah blah  but MIX IT UP!!!  Throw in a cat picture for Heaven's sake!!!  Just be you and be real and all that will fall in to place naturally, don't force it down people's throats.    This goes for business, kids, pets, news, political issues, faith, reposts and shares, ALL of it!!

7.  Hard lesson of not exploiting our children:   I have been GUILTY myself.  I humbly say I have learned and regretted some of my posts in the past.   If I post something about my kids or pictures that are goofy I get their permission first.   Their whole life does not need to be displayed.  Again I stand guilty of this in the past and I stand firm with asking them first as a filter for my own over posting parental mistakes and what I think is "cute".

8.  Be able to walk away without announcing it as if you are divorcing everyone.  Most people think that's super dumb, you know the "break up status post".  We all know you will be back when you want something or realize that you've missed a bunch of important events.  I mean Facebook is like not checking your mail box back in the day.   It's where people are and where things are known and where you can interact on a different level.   Walk away but don't be so dramatic.. geesh!  (Again guilty in my formative FB years)

9. Sharing Links about False News  So if something seems off it probably is.. go check out snopes.com before you stand behind it.   People get all freaked out about things and then come to find out it wasn't even real, it was just some bored person trying to get click throughs... Please Please stop sharing these ridiculous stories and giving these people fuel.

10.  The Chain Posts:  We've seen them.. If you truly believe this than post it on your wall, like it, share it if you truly love Jesus.   Please Stop.. We shouldn't have to follow those stupid rules and sharing posts that publicly make other people roll their eyes.   There is not magic in any of those posts.  God knows my heart and I should be living a life that reflects my faith not have to use scare tatics on a Facebook photo, that probably is collecting data on everyone who clicks on it.. by the way.

I can't think of any more right now, I'm sure they will come.  I think the best thing is to work on loving others, not being jealous of what we don't have, be considerate of other's ideas and thoughts, like what we like, block what disturbs us. and by all means if you really don't like being there don't be and don't make everyone else feel shamed for liking it.  Run your race, I'll hand you water when you need it.   I won't be booing you holding up my flag that reads "gluttony rocks" just because I don't like running! I may not do it well or understand why others would want to do such a painful thing or want to, but Seriously.... if I choose not to run I better not be complaining to others about it or sad when all my friends are in shape and look good in their skinny jeans!! (I however unfriend runners).

 Stay tuned for Post 3 about why I LOVE and think Facebook is a good thing.  

Please feel free to comment below and let's get the dialogue going. 

If you didn't read Part 1 here is the link.  PART ONE 




Tuesday, November 17, 2015

OH Facebook Why I Hate You and Love You Part 1

Disclaimer:   This is satire humor it is not directed at any one person.  I am sure that a reader will find themselves in some of these examples but it is meant for humor and to pause and think.  If it strikes a cord in the reader that is too painful then perhaps there are some issues that need to be dealt with.  Close your computer and go for a walk, it just doesn't matter that much.  I have made many Facebook mistakes along the way and have learned and had to adjust.  Laughing at oneself is the best way to overcome things and make life more fun.   


Facebalkers 


We all know one or two people that "refuse" to use Facebook.  They will let you know why they hate it so much, how much time it takes up and how that is just NOT what they want to do with their time.  That statement is meant to make all of us regular Facebookers feel like life slackers. 
The 2nd group is the person who friends you and then does nothing, or rather nothing visible. They just lurk behind the scenes late at night stalking photos and pages.  I'll call them Facebook Stalkers or how about Facebalkers.  These are the ones that NEVER comment, NEVER post,  they "Don't like Facebook Much" and will make you feel like you have issues because you check it daily.. hourly and often every 2 minutes.  They will go on and on with what a waste of time it is and how they just don't see it's usefulness, UNTIL the day comes when they need it.  THEN they pop up PUBLICLY and very visibly to sell their couch, or awkwardly post on someone's wall a very personal message something like " Hey ____ I saw you that you got implants, you look great!" you know who you are. CONFESS!!  Even further Facebalkers will come out of hiding when they want you to use your sphere of influence to make an announcement for their cause!!? Something like this.. "Hey, so I see you have quite a lot of friends and connections on Facebook.   I know I have mocked your usage before but will you post that I'm having a Garage sale next week?" Wait.. what??  I'm sorry Queen Latifah I have spent years and years building meaningful social media relationships, liking numerous pictures of puppies, giving candy crush lives, being "happy" for many friends' tropical vacations and new boat pictures and viewing slide shows of people's entire year in pictures set to music while weeping.  Keeping up with my sphere of people whom some I can't recall how we even met, but we are close now!   Go spend some time clicking, posting, liking and commenting and then we'll talk about your bake sale on my wall.    Facebalkers are just one level up from those who open accounts and after several logins STILL have a shadow for a profile.. (that's not creepy).   They don't become really active until they realize one day that they cannot get a hold of anyone anymore.   They finally pick a profile picture which is the person looking very confused into the computer camera.  Furthermore and maybe the worst part of a new user is they proceed to "like" EVERY picture from 2006-2015! That action then causes those pictures to pop up in the main feed of all my friends and gives me 1000 "like" notifications. Which I guess is thoughtful, but the worst part of that is then the Facebalkers finally comment on my picture from 2006 and say "Hey you got your hair cut and lost 35lbs!.. Wow you look young!!!"  um yeah that was nearly 10 years ago..    Sigh..   And don't even ask me what poke is.. and for the record I still love you person out there, it just needed to be said. 


Thursday, November 12, 2015

Why I Am Afraid to Blog Again

To write or NOT to write that is the question...    I am pondering this morning.. pondering about why, why write a blog.. why I wrote and started this blog years ago.  It's not that I don't have a lot to say or express.. oh there are many thoughts whirling around this scattered brain.   It's why. 

What is the motivation.
Is it worth it
who reads it 
does it matter if it is just one
what if I look dumb
I will offend someone... it always happens.. there is always one. two. 20?
Am I scared? 
yes
Should that stop me? 
no

But I'm scared ... that's it I'm scared.. I'm afraid my thoughts will be judged, stomped on, mercifully torn apart in the world we live in of lopsided grace of free thought and speech. 
I've been hurt before, my heart aches and my heart is wounded from being transparent and trusting others with my thoughts and life happenings. 

So I guess I have put up a wall of protection and stopped writing the fun, the good, the ugly and thus why this blog has sat with sporadic posts, and I'm not sure why I'm getting that tug on my heart to start back up.

But there you have it please feel free to comment and share.